Things I Don't Want to Hear on a Blind Date

"I'm always singing, always have music in my head, it's like I hear radio stations or something. We put so much out there, on frequencies, that who knows what we're picking up"



"Whenever I walk into a room, I feeeeel the room, like take in the vibes and the sense of what's going on, and I just feeeeel the room" (stoner voice)



"Even when I met her she was in a lesbian relationship, but I just really could feeel that there was something big about to happen in my life, so our son was definitely that stabilizing thing that I needed. So we moved to Phoenix. And she's still a lesbian."



"The lady who works reception at my work, is Uzbekistan-y, and they think she's a spy. She works with the door closed all the time. It's weird. And she can't get a hold of her family alot. Maybe she is a spy!"



"I think I sweat a lot more when I wear headphones, I don't know what it is, but it's definitely true. I just get really really wet whenever I'm rocking out, especially when I'm doing chores around the house. It's like they keep the heat in!"



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