I'm Hopeful!

I have two really great things going on in my life right now, and at first I thought they were fleeting or possibly just a fluke, but they have turned out to not be anything of the sort. The first, the more amusing of the two, is that I officially have a MAD crush. And it's a real life crush, not someone that I stare at through office window blinds or at a bar. And it's the kind of crush that makes you want to talk about them all the time, for. no. reason. You know when all you want to do is talk about them, but a) there isn't anyone at the ready to gush to and b) there really isn't any great super-witty-banter exchange to tell because they fluster you too much to actually remember them!? Yeah, it's that kind of crush. And it is so incredibly fun that I find myself amused almost nonstop. But not in a creepy stalker kind of way, just in a silly girl kind of way. The other exciting thing right now, is that I am finally having conversations with my family (of course by this I mean my sisters and mother) that I have been dying to have. Serious conversations about the past 5 years that throughout that time, we were either too angry to actually start, too immature to verbalize, couldn't have because of the distance, or all of the above. Some of them are hard to have, but I realize now that I have been craving this kind of honesty and perspective about the past. Most of them are particularly important for me and my adult sister and mother to have as women, things about life and love and marriage and greif and job satisfaction etc etc. And these amazing conversations are perfectly balanced with the 'maria-focused' conversations such as how to properly get ready for a homecoming dance with a boy, and how to study for biology exams. So, that being said, I am officially over the hump and shock of being home 'in limbo' for a few months at my mothers house, and finally settling into the real life of a complicated Jesse woman, and it feels freaking awesome.


And if the myth holds true, then there should be that third exciting tidbit just around the corner. God I love being an optimist.


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