The list of "to-dos" (both personal and world related) that inevitably pile up on my clipboard notepad at work, in no particular order, but the ones from today happen to be particularly ridiculous in their obscurity.....
1. Do a criminal background check on YOURSELF, on the contract website
2. Bring an old bra to work
3. Scan, scan, scan
4. Breathe and sit up straight
5. Key Lady Project
6. Delete clients who have passed away
I apologize for that last one....but really, thats what I wrote down
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Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
How to appear put together when you're really not
So, I tend to be slightly disorganized yet keenly aware of whats going on....at all times. It's my plight. My ever-lasting sitaution that I have learned to embrace. And over the past few weeks I have also been making a mental note on how to avoid actually looking that way. Cause in reality, even though it tends not to show, there is a lot going on up there! I swear! But sometimes it doesnt translate into finding my keys or remembering that one movie....and other socially 'important at the moment' type things. So, this list might only apply to me, but I find these tips helpful and have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one hiding their crazieness.
1. Make these, and throw a few on some ice-cream, if you have guests over and people will be talking about it for the rest of the night. And they keep! It's the small things folks, and Pioneer Woman knows how to rock them.
2. For girls: Make sure to have a 'carry all' type purse that looks good with a dress up outfit and a sweatshirt! Such as the target version of this.
3. At work: Always keep your thumb on the Alt button and your middle finger on the Tab button so that you can quickly switch back to your excell sheet or outlook inbox from whatever you're not supposed to be reading or doing online. And don't take this the gross way, I'm only suggesting that People or CNN or gasp PerezHilton not be up on your screen. But yeah, try it. Hold Alt, then click tab. It's magic.
4. If you're a 9-5er like me or even volunteering or whatever else that involves office type work, carry a nice olf fashioned wooden clip board around. They make you feel amazing, and they're only 97 cents. 97 cents people!
5. Mascara and lip gloss. Easy peasy.
6. Keep your public transit "tracker" phone number in your cell phone. Even if you don't take public transportation, it is a good resource for keeping up on construction going on in your city that could hinder your commute or attempt to get to happy hour, major delays, checking on intersection locations, one way streets, events going on in your city, how to find a bus you need if your car breaks down, or traffic. Tri-Met is one of my-favs on my cell, but I'm just a freak like that.
7. Take notes. Always. Meetings. Events. Interviews. Even if you're on the phone with your best friend and forgot to mention something to them or a reminder to look something up that we're trying to do in Vegas, write yourself a note, keep a sticky note pad on your nightstand, cause God knows you'll forget 23 and half minutes later. And by you, of course I mean me.
8. Wear sunglasses when it's sunny. Simply as that. Go by a 10 dollar target pair, a pair of 'bug eye' shades if you're feeling trendy, and not only will you deter the line forming between your eyebrows, but you won't look confused! Recently, if I forget my sunglasses or just forget for a few moments after leaving new seasons to get them off my head and put them on my face, have been wincing in pain and confusion as to why...a) i cant see anything and ....b)people are starting to stare at my surely unattractive scrunching of the face. And it also proves extremel effective when you're sitting at the bus stop on the way to work, getting in a little "i can't read on the bus cause i'll puke like im 7 years old and on a roadtrip" reading, that no one will notice you cry. Damn books. They get me every time. But my sunglasses keep others from knowing.
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1. Make these, and throw a few on some ice-cream, if you have guests over and people will be talking about it for the rest of the night. And they keep! It's the small things folks, and Pioneer Woman knows how to rock them.
2. For girls: Make sure to have a 'carry all' type purse that looks good with a dress up outfit and a sweatshirt! Such as the target version of this.
3. At work: Always keep your thumb on the Alt button and your middle finger on the Tab button so that you can quickly switch back to your excell sheet or outlook inbox from whatever you're not supposed to be reading or doing online. And don't take this the gross way, I'm only suggesting that People or CNN or gasp PerezHilton not be up on your screen. But yeah, try it. Hold Alt, then click tab. It's magic.
4. If you're a 9-5er like me or even volunteering or whatever else that involves office type work, carry a nice olf fashioned wooden clip board around. They make you feel amazing, and they're only 97 cents. 97 cents people!
5. Mascara and lip gloss. Easy peasy.
6. Keep your public transit "tracker" phone number in your cell phone. Even if you don't take public transportation, it is a good resource for keeping up on construction going on in your city that could hinder your commute or attempt to get to happy hour, major delays, checking on intersection locations, one way streets, events going on in your city, how to find a bus you need if your car breaks down, or traffic. Tri-Met is one of my-favs on my cell, but I'm just a freak like that.
7. Take notes. Always. Meetings. Events. Interviews. Even if you're on the phone with your best friend and forgot to mention something to them or a reminder to look something up that we're trying to do in Vegas, write yourself a note, keep a sticky note pad on your nightstand, cause God knows you'll forget 23 and half minutes later. And by you, of course I mean me.
8. Wear sunglasses when it's sunny. Simply as that. Go by a 10 dollar target pair, a pair of 'bug eye' shades if you're feeling trendy, and not only will you deter the line forming between your eyebrows, but you won't look confused! Recently, if I forget my sunglasses or just forget for a few moments after leaving new seasons to get them off my head and put them on my face, have been wincing in pain and confusion as to why...a) i cant see anything and ....b)people are starting to stare at my surely unattractive scrunching of the face. And it also proves extremel effective when you're sitting at the bus stop on the way to work, getting in a little "i can't read on the bus cause i'll puke like im 7 years old and on a roadtrip" reading, that no one will notice you cry. Damn books. They get me every time. But my sunglasses keep others from knowing.
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
If you're armed, you can't hug
There is a huge "anti-China" sentiment in our country currently. Everyone is talking about how we're not keeping up with the Chinese, and how we're in debt to them, and how they make everything now, and blah blah blah. I have my own personal opinion about China, which I will refrain from explaining, but the whole thing really seems to me more of a ego issue for our government than anything else. Because, we're American, we can't possibly not be the most powerful country in the world, eek, help, not fair! Despite all the whining and the fear and the stupidity, on the part of the government, the general public, and media, our government has no problem being involved in arms dealership with them in the middle east. No problem at all. Cause apparently that whole 'foe' factor doesnt really come into play when we're dealing with money and guns and continued unrest in the middle east. No worries, we can overlook the fact that we trash talk them all the time and make sure we get our money and of course fulfill our "protection" responsibilites in the middle east. And they really just don't care that these kinds of things keep happening, which in the end only makes the US seem more sleezy. Even if these 'allegations' don't turn out to be true, or somehow the US officials involved somehow are safeguarded by the administration (oops I mean 'exonerated'), they have still managed to do just that, create more scum that is getting harder and harder for our country to wash off. Way to go Bush. When will they learn?
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Monday, June 23, 2008
The Ghosts of Years Past - 11 through 17 years old
11 years old - My sister and I dug a hole in my backyard, underneath the swingset that my father built, to China. We were determined....for about three hours.
12 years old - I wore a striped blue shirt and new dark wash jeans to my first day of junior high. It was also Maria's first day of preschool. We practically matched and the smiles were never bigger as we posed for pictures on the front lawn. I had Ms. Green for homeroom and I got to sit near Katie and Maris. It rocked.
13 years old - I got called Ellen (ie lesbian) by my former Twin McHottie crush because I had a picture of Gwen Stefanie (and No Doubt) on my forest green binder. Also, Kathleen and I would go downtown every other week after mass to watch a matinee movie.
14 years old - In Mr. McKay's freshmen year homeroom Gabby and I made up a song/dance to "whip it" by Divo. There was also a senior in my health class who had nor-plant in her arm. She was nuts.
15 years old - Maria fell off the swings, because I didn't catch her in time, and broke her arm. She got a white cast and then decided to cut off her bangs. She looked homeless for awhile.
16 years old - I went on a trip to visit my dad on his "business trip". It turned out he was in rehab. That trip was a peek into the forthcoming familial chaos and also was the setting for my first kiss with a guy named Max. My sister and I swam every night in the hotel pool.
17 years old - I sweated through Ms. Shaddy's AP history and english clases and I almost fell down the stairs when she pulled me aside to compliment my Song of Solomon Final Essay. And lets not forget the time I held Maris' hair as she turned green and puked in the garbage can outside.
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12 years old - I wore a striped blue shirt and new dark wash jeans to my first day of junior high. It was also Maria's first day of preschool. We practically matched and the smiles were never bigger as we posed for pictures on the front lawn. I had Ms. Green for homeroom and I got to sit near Katie and Maris. It rocked.
13 years old - I got called Ellen (ie lesbian) by my former Twin McHottie crush because I had a picture of Gwen Stefanie (and No Doubt) on my forest green binder. Also, Kathleen and I would go downtown every other week after mass to watch a matinee movie.
14 years old - In Mr. McKay's freshmen year homeroom Gabby and I made up a song/dance to "whip it" by Divo. There was also a senior in my health class who had nor-plant in her arm. She was nuts.
15 years old - Maria fell off the swings, because I didn't catch her in time, and broke her arm. She got a white cast and then decided to cut off her bangs. She looked homeless for awhile.
16 years old - I went on a trip to visit my dad on his "business trip". It turned out he was in rehab. That trip was a peek into the forthcoming familial chaos and also was the setting for my first kiss with a guy named Max. My sister and I swam every night in the hotel pool.
17 years old - I sweated through Ms. Shaddy's AP history and english clases and I almost fell down the stairs when she pulled me aside to compliment my Song of Solomon Final Essay. And lets not forget the time I held Maris' hair as she turned green and puked in the garbage can outside.
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Friday, June 20, 2008
Why I love Maris Jean Jager
I just recieved the meanest email I have ever recieved from a family member. In response to me sharing my soon to be reality dream of going to Africa and volunteering, I was responded to with judgement and not one ounce of joy. High horse preaching followed, with a ever-present dash of 'youre not as enlightened as me cause I went to rehab and I'm going to share my recovery with you' bullshit. And the one person, who can probably most relate to this crap, Maris Jean Jager, is the reason for this self-centered woe is me yet 'dont i have the best friends ever' blog. She responded with just the right amount of anger, support, and a fabulous ending setence....
"and if he cant see that, then he should go bask in his privileged upbringing and self-centered existence a little more. He doesn't know anythin"
I am shocked. In a good way. Feeling out of breath by how amazing and quick to action she was, and all my friends are, in their efforts to back me up. To us. Clink. So hopefully that cross-america cheers will help me wake myself from the fog that this black cloud, which decended so rapidly and forcefully, has already placed over my day.
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"and if he cant see that, then he should go bask in his privileged upbringing and self-centered existence a little more. He doesn't know anythin"
I am shocked. In a good way. Feeling out of breath by how amazing and quick to action she was, and all my friends are, in their efforts to back me up. To us. Clink. So hopefully that cross-america cheers will help me wake myself from the fog that this black cloud, which decended so rapidly and forcefully, has already placed over my day.
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sometimes, all I want to do is be a Shrink
I am a huge neuroscience nerd, hard to the core. And since I am equally a fan of sarcasm and all other forms of wit, I found this article to be the highlight of my day. It's freaking sweet.
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