Thursday, February 28, 2008

Stepping inside my mind's eye for a minute

I feel like there's a lot of movement in my life. things are happening. And after feeling for a long while that I've been deep in a lull (not a negative lull, just a plain ole lull), I'm really happy to report that theres lots of cliche internal stuff going on, as well as the perspective of my mind's eye really being able to see the movement thats going to be happen very soon. Sometimes just the stuff thats going on this weekend and other times, its stuff that won't be happening untill next winter. Despite the patience required, I am so so ready to be READY for these things to happen. Anticipation anxiety is definitely not fun, not for anyone, but especially stupid considering my "anxious tummy girl" title, and despite there being a little bit of that regarding a certain boy in my life, I am genuinely NOT having any of that scary tummy shit. And I am extremely grateful. And as a recent girlfriend just pointed out on a all day shopping extravaganza, it really is about being gracious and ready for all the things that you're thrown. So bring it on! And the idea of "Minds eye" never ceases to fascinate me, and has been the topic of discussion many times in the past few weeks, so.... I leave you with this song by Missy Higgins, who I have the priveledge to see LIVE tonight. Holla!

Monday, February 25, 2008


Text 1: You are beautiful.

Text 2: and if my T9 let me say this, I would have said gorgeous.


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Picture Time - Lauren in PDX

I said there are pictures to come...and I meant it! Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

dance classes: near the top of my lifelong to do list

I want to take dance classes. I used to dance a ton in my younger years, insert cheesy dance tapdance routine with sparkly hat home video here, yet I have been googling for weeks now and can't find anything that looks beginner enough for me because of the elapsed time. Plus I really just want a buddy to go with, at least at first. I've done extensive searches of the dance studios in portland and nothing seems quite right or is explained well enough to try out. Any ideas? Maybe I should just close my eyes and pick one and try it. What exactly do I have to lose? just an hour of my time and my pride I guess. But the latter should be discarded as often as possibly anyways, so why the heck not! Now the question is, lyrical or tap or jazz or ballet? I really want to try lyrical, since I've never done it before and it just feels different enough to interest me. Ahh decisions. And I'm requiring all those of you who read my blog, probably all 6 of you, to poke me and prod me to do this. Remind me that its worth it, or even say you'll join me!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Lauren and Claire and PDX oh my

So we just dropped Lauren off at the airport and to be honest, I'm slightly exhausted! :) It takes a lot of me to have SO MUCH FUN with my bestie. We can constantly entertain outselves with oodles of people watching, crap eating, soco and lime drinking, and flirting. Not with eachother of course...with well seduced boys, that come flocking to us. That's right. Holla. We began the weekend with a night of much earned revelry at my favoritist bar in the entire world, Kel's. Pictures to come. And I learned that apparently I wasnt fooling anyone when I used to go there back in the day with the trusty fake. Oops. I bet you wish you had been there. But not for the part that included losing my keys, climbing through the window, and breaking a lamp that isnt yours. Luckily we were able to laugh through the whole thing and not cut our hands as we drunkly and stupidly clean up glass in our stocking feet.

Next day was a matinee, where we had to peel ourselves away from the candy display because of Lenten promises. Harder than it seems. And who doesnt love a dance movie, even when you only go for the dancing and the music? A well spent 8 bucks. Reeboks with the strap, with the strap!

Then my well planned dinner party started off well, and really only got better. There was way more food than I expected, I was able to spend lovely and intent time with those I love the most, and have a really special open mic time. I am surrounded by some really talented and interesting people and putting us all in one room is entertaining and proves to also be a mini holynames reunion.

Sunday was a lazy day of long walks, girl talk, brunch, and Reiki. It was far more spiritual than I thought it would be, but also very calming physically for me. Kind of like guided meditation, laying on of the hands, and affirmation therapy. Good combo if you ask me.

AND finally, Lauren cannot come to portland and not have me show her around Northwest PDX. It just can't happen. So we did some major boutique-ing today with lunch and chat time with an in town Tricia. I'm pretty sure we entertained a coffee shop with simply our conversation for over an hour. Yeah, we're that good.

and the best part of the weekend is............we've decided....


Enough. said.

And hey, Lauren Sawtelle, yeah you.....thank you for coming to portland!! oh and the Universe says hi too!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A threat to us all

The Cold War Threat to the Navajo

Read the above article. It will make you squirm.

Who are we as a nation if we cant take care of ourselves? Of our own? If we cant realize what we’ve done and fix it. If this was happening in lake Oswego or in Bellevue, there would be uproar. In all reality, it would never get this bad, it would NEVER ever EVER. And that’s the sadest part. That we care more about some people over other people. We say we’re all equal. We say we respect all citizens. But we don’t. and that’s that. Is it giving in to pessimism, to say I don’t think it will ever change? Is it too big of a hurdle to overcome? Are humans doomed to treat eachother this way? All the while ignoring all the noble philosophizing and prophesizing we do against it? I am really not sure. We have these great moments, the civil rights movement, the clean air and water act, public schools, etc etc; but in the end, we don’t follow through. We constantly disappoint ourselves and the people we pledge ourselves to care for. And the government wants us to be patriotic in the face of all this. Wants us to stand up and blindly follow its “wise choices”. Bush has the audacity to give us a little chuckle, a little “I cant believe you’re asking me that” laugh, as if we cant see right through him. And instead, he ups the spending on the war and ups the spending on weapons. All to do what? Give that great ‘dedication’ that we have for ourselves, that we call democracy, to other people? Some people ask me why I get so aggravated, so ‘up in arms’ over this stuff. And I just look at them and think “just wait until your kids are playing in a contaminated waterhole and then get back to me on that…….”.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

check it out - you heard it here first- edition 1

after growing up on rolling stone magazine and the mountain (shoutout seattle and my other like minded radio folks), admittedly with a dash of backstreet and boys to men, i fancy myself somewhat obsessed with music, popular or not, and other sorts of indie type media. evident by the constant emails in my inbox from myself, reminding myself to look up certain bands, or songs, or "that one lyric that i heard while watching that one episode of weeds or big love". so i research it online and obsess over it. although rarely do i buy the songs on itunes or the cd. its a silly cycle. so in order to keep a record of my ongoing mental sticky note of music and sometimes tv series or songs or interesting pop culture tidbits, i am going to start listing them here. nothing fancy and of course not the end all be all. but, i think, worthy of passing along. do enjoy. my sanity sure will.

1. I JUST HEARD......theres going to be a new counting crows album....OMIGOD. breathe. and go download the two new songs free on their website. tour anyone? im there.

2. ben harper video - better way - i keep coming back to this song whenever my socialist activist wannabe personality comes out, which - to be honest, is more often than people know! the song never ceases to inspire me. Plus is he a GOD or what?! Le sigh.

3. I have discovered this silly little semi homemade "tv - esque" series. by the same people who thought up my so called life (so, right there, is some major cred). apparently it starts on nbc soon. anyways, im addicted. its part blogging part home video. its fantastic. Check it out. It's called Quarterlife. All in all, its entertaining and i found it on myspace. Go figure. And it features some of my favorite people, floppy haired boys. What what!

4. Rogue Wave. I cannot. get. over. this. band. They're in portlanad tonight. I am not there. Mainly because I didnt have anyone to go with (ahem ali ahem), but also cause im trying to cut down on spending. Although it was only 9 dollars and 47 cents. thanks to alternative portland radio station! but DAMNIT i am not there. their song chicago x12, has been looping in my head all day. all freaking day. i think they're going to be big someday. a la coldplay status. no joke. and in order to get you into more than one song, i'll let you google the one i mentioned above, and leave you with this one.

5. Samantha Tobey. Beautiful voice. Is so new I cant even find her on youtube. shocking i know. A little bit ofo sheryl crow and jewel and chrissy hynde. just add milk. a great way to wake up.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Volume 1: Overheard on the Nursing Floor

I spend a lot of my time in two places at work, the main office and the simulation lab, which happen to be down the hall from one another. So there is a lot of walking back and forth involved. Not only does it allow me to take quick little peeks at the cute boys I have dubbed as my entertainment for the semester (theres cute boy monday/tues and theres cute boy mon/wed/fri), but it also involves hearing little tidbits of whatever lecture for whatever class is going on at that exact moment (mainly nursing, but theres a sprinkling of others). It is endlessly amusing! I have begun to write them down, since they are just too good to just share with my coworkers, and thought it would be a good blog series to maintain. Here goes!

“of course, then the pure blood must be shed”

“and the next kind of sweat gland is the American sweat gland”

“I swallow all my gum thank you very much! Yeah, ever since I was a kid, I just swallowed 7 in that class alone!”

“they squished all these poor chapters, those poor old testament folks, into a tiny tiny space, God told me Joshua was not happy about that”

"you must pee after coitus ladies, or you'll be in here with a UTI and some cute male nurse will have to inspect you, if you know what I mean"

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Good things come in FOURS this time around

1. Lent - a time to embrace the universe with Gratitude - Fr. Pomerlaeu at mass today

2. Having some pretty amazing 'women who rally' as Lauren would say. Despite the tragedy of it all, the women in my family can really shake their fists and stand up beside me when I need it. Even if others think it silly and ineffective, it reminds me where I come from and why they're worth fighting for.

3. Having an exciting weekend of girls time to look forward to with my wifey. Outings and food and shopping and soco and limes. Hoorah!

4. Two shows in the near and semi near future. Missy Higgins. and Hotel Cafe Tour 2008. Featuring many amazing artists (please give them a listen, its worth it) and also my hetero girl crush schuyler fisk. or maybe she's so cool cause she's basically what i think i would sound like if I were a singer (or could write music, and go on stage in front of hundreds or travel around the coutnry...etc etc ok you get the level of awesomeness, to which I am not close!)

Monday, February 4, 2008

If only we could eat, drink, and dance naked every tuesday.....

I am starting to think about what I want to give up for Lent. I am not a strict Catholic or fervent about self denial, but I find it a nice ritual that reminds us what is really important, and those things that we really dont need. A little self work for God/Allah/Energy/or simply to be lest wasteful or self absorbed. I was discussing it with my coworkers today over mac n cheese (high calorie comfort food, how nice of you to remind me of this task). I voiced coffee....and immediately realized that I should heed Ali's advice that it would be like not breathing. Plus the look from my equally obsessed coworker Elisa officially crossed that off my list. I thought about bread, like my sister Caitlin always used to do, and then I realized that I don't eat that much of it and havent even eaten any today. Not an option. Sticky notes? As a way to reduce my paper waste, instead using one pad of paper to write everything down? But I almost think my incessant note taking would equal just as much paper on a legal pad then on pink and yellow stickies. Plus it helps to add color and decor to my cube. No....seriously, don't judge! Umm...I'm stumpted. Any ideas? oh WAIT. I could give up eating out!? that would QUITE the challenge. Seeing as every "lets hang out" requires it. I am going to think about that one. Any suggestions? I would greatly appreciate it. Especially from those who know my vices! Ready, set, go.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

My Mini Portland Christmas!

These past two or so days have felt almost exactly like Christmas. Friday, it started with the arrival of gargantouan and long awaited packages from my mother. Two large boxes of things that (because of added christmas presents and my general tendency to pack like I'll never return) I couldn't travel back with on the train due to silly little things known as suitcase weight limits. It was a gleeful unwrapping of things I had almost forgotten were actually mine. Two sweaters that I love, my xmas gift set of amazing plush towels, my rain jacket, my uggs, and most importantly - my new coffee maker. All mine! And it was lovingly topped off with some much needed mama lovin - frilly pink sweater and glove set, and I bet you would love to know what's in that white envelope! You probably guessed right :)

And it continued saturday by SNOWING. And I dont mean "snowing overnight and leaving some on your lawn that's going to melt by lunch", oh no no! It was the real deal! Snowing for several hours, and sticking! It was magical and beautiful and I am extremely grateful for the day of CHILL that ensued, perfectly fit for a snow day. Complete with a walk in the falling snow with Ali Brown, even though it was "like a 7-eleven slushi machine in my SHOES!" according to her. And who knew that the extended commercials in movies on TV trying to make them fit into two hours could actually be great, allowing us to GAB like we usually do and not miss too much of the movies, despite having seen then before.

And the bizarre holiday like feeling continues! My phone has not been working since yesterday. Extremely annoying. Yet creating this weird feeling of being on vacation, or home sick from work, or just in general being really really out of it. As the IT man said on friday during the millionth "why doesnt this mic work and how come theres awful feedback" fiasco at work.... "I am one with the chaos"......