Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Ali's Goodbye

In honor of my just-for-a-short-while roomate and dear friend Downtown Ali Brown's departure from Portland (to continue her awesomeness in Lincoln, CA as a kick ass english teacher), I give you this......

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

I will miss you!

Let's always have this much fun, even when we're real adults :)


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Boys are weird

Dear Cute Boy

Please stop torturing me. I asked you out, yes I actually put myself out there and did the adult thing. Because you seem so awesome, and I thought there was something there, mainly because we kept having moments and mini-conversations in the hall where we couldnt stop smiling. And people noticed. And remember orientation, yeah, you leaned back in your chair to look at me behind the pillar three times for god's sake. So, because I gave you an easy way to ask me out 'back', then why have you failed to do so, yet have continued to flirt with me? It's infuriating. Either be an aloof asshole and ignore me, or ask me to coffee. It's simple. It really is. Stop trying to get my attention over the damn cube wall (not to mention through an entire set of blinds and through a window) when I'm not even looking, and there really isnt any need for you to stop by my desk at the front of the classroom after an evaluation and have a full on conversation with me about 'how I am doing'. You have full permission to ignore me, it would be so much easier if you did. And most importantly, stop smiling at me. Because your cuteness is so freaking me out. I have little mini excitedness-attacks whenever these things happen. Luckily my cube is hidden and I can be crazy alone, but I really don't need to be wasting my time on these things when you are consistently a tease. So stop flirting, stop looking, and stop smiling. And let me get back to convincing myself that "you're just not that into me".



ps: If you're gay, please let me know.


Monday, July 28, 2008

Triviality: Hymp Day Blues - Formerly!

Note: I originally wrote this blog the middle of last week. And by that I mean "to distract myself from the hell which was the last two weeks". I'm just being real. So take this with a grain of salt, and do not fret, because I am doing just fine now thank you. Full of a free 'dean search' luncheon and wedding dress oohing and awwing with an engaged coworker.

Work sucks lately. I have been going nonstop, not had a lot of time at my desk (aka fun coworker distractions, email, coffee, and pandora softrock), a lot of mornings starting at 730 and some evenings not ending till 5. And I don't even want to talk about my late days this week. My favorite use of vulgarity is appropriate here.... Fuck Me! So..... (thanks to shop it to me and other random online sale 'rack' searching) I have put together a list of "if only it even existed, or I had a reason to buy this" list. It's silly, its stupid, and vain. But I can't help it. Shopping raises Seratonin. So all haters can just go.... oh whatever. Here are the goodies.

1. First and foremost, a "instant traveling machine" so i could never have to worry about saying goodbye to anyone, ever. Selfish, I know. but dont pretend like you dont want one too! :)

2. These shoes, which I found on 'sale mail' and instantly loved in a 80's revival sort of week that its been, and then today realized that they are Chippewa Shoes. One of the many Maris Jean Jager vibes I've been receiving from on high recently. The fact that we chose Bitch to sing at karoake on friday is evidence enough for a God since I was just asking Maris what we should choose via text. All hail the shopping version of ESP. Chippewa Pride. :) And don't worry, Maris is currently brainstorming about the Chippewa gang sign that should accompany those shoes.

3. If possible, that this wedding dress would never ever ever not exist, because I want it. That is all. Not a huge favor to ask from Mr. (or Mrs?) Alvina Valenta, right? But I must remind myself that a Spring 05 Collection dress will probably not be available when I get married. Especially considering I will probably not being doing that untill 2050.

4. Middle Sister Wine Company giving me a share of their earnings, or some stock, or realy.... just a few bottles, cause that would really be awesome. Considering how tried and true "middle sister" I am, they ought to be grateful for their practically free product advertisement. Jeez.

5. A few hundred dollars to be able to fly here

Notice the arrow: pointing near Richards Bay, and then to the left of that there is Empangeni!

and hang with these people and their babies!

6. One more hour in the day. Half of which I would dedicate to sleep. Just so I could manage to be the "at least 7 hours preferably 8" kind of sleep person that I truly am. And the second half to walking. An hour and a half of walking a day would be bliss. After an hour, I just kind of want a little bit more.

7. A mop that actually works. Cause it would be so so so much easier to mop my stupid linoleum kitchen floors that seem to never stay clean with an actual mop. Not one from the 1980's.


and just for shits and giggles, go check out this website. If only Nordstrom were interactive like this one!


Saturday, July 26, 2008

Faith in Humanity

I believe in us.


Friday, July 25, 2008

You heard it here first, Edition VI

Oooooh goodie! Another one. I realized that this is only the 6th installment of this series (well technically the 7th since the 4th edition was a two part series), and that really isnt that many, but I feel like I've been writing these forever. Aside from funny conversations and political rants, and a dash of random list/updations, these are my favorite to write. So sit back, get a glass of iced tea (I reccomend Numi Simply Mint!), close your eyes as you listen (hey, it works ok!) and maybe have a bowl of frosted flakes, cause this stuff is greeeeattt!

1. Soooo I'm pretty much obsessed with anything Jason Mraz right now, and a random interview revealed that one of he is fascinated by Bjork. And as I really only know her as the lady with awesomely weird music, and that one swan dress, I gave her a good youtube search and found some incredibly stuff. You have to be prepared for some weirdness, but as I tend to like the 'weird in a good way' I was thoroughly impressed by this song. It's called "Alll is Full of Love".

2. Robin Thicke. Sex on a stick. Plain and simple. And a man that isnt afraid to use glitter in his music videos, is a real man to me :) He's written songs and won grammys with people since he was 16 (anyone from Mya to Brian McKnight (as a mentor) to Pink to Christina to Usher to Pharrell) and now he's been doing his own thing for awhile. His last album "Evolution of Robin Thicke" is excellent and his new one is equally exciting (to me at least). He claims that his new stuff has a little bit of a disco feel, with some Fred Astaire moments. Fedora me silly. His new song, called Magic.

3. So my Aunty Anna (aka superaunt) is probably peeing her pants right now in anticipation of the fact that Fleetwood Mac is going on tour again. Gasp! And in honor of their greatness, and awesome rocker women, here is a really cool cover of Crash (Dave Matthews Band) by Stevie Nicks. Man, if she can be in a band with the former 'love of her life' than I can do anything. Props to her.

3. Knowing my memory, the fact that I have such a vivid mental picture of opening up the case to their album OK Computer in front of my dark wooden splintering music cabinet in my montlake house, speaks volumes. Radiohead. Tried and true. Their newest, 'House of Cards' has a really trippy video, with really cool graphics. Another one of the reasons why I'm kicking myself for not yet learning the guitar.

4. So this one is a 'right now favorite' on my itunes, and when it popped up on my ipod yesterday during my commute, I kept it on repeat for about an hour and a half. No lie. I even got out a peice of paper and started writing down the lyrics. I was incredibly moved. Probably because I'm feeling exactly what she is singing about in this song. This one goes out to Ali Brown, and she knows why. It's called "Any Day" and I had no luck finding it on youtube or projectplaylist so I leave it up to you guys to seek it out on itunes, its definitely worth 99 cents. Ani Ani Ani!

5. Speaking of my Jason Mraz obsession, here is 'God moves through you'. It's spectacular. I never thought of him as having a religious/spiritual/universe-thinker-over-guy side. But regardless, I really really like it. And while we're on the subject, there is one off his new album called "love for a child" that is crazy good. Man of many talents.

6. So The Format. One of my all time favorite reccomendations by Lauren. And I just love love love his voice. Whiny at its best :) with a little bit of added twang. I like it, I like it alot. This song is fabulous. Once you get to the website, click the big fatty play button on the first track :)

7. Lastly, I cannot do one of these random posts without including a silly but fun pop song. And since I'm sure everyone knows about people like Mika and Katy Perry and Kylie Minogue, then I'm going to suggest Alphabeat. I mean really...Danish people are my people, so I must represent. I suggest the newest version of Boyfriend. Perfect for the gym. I also want his zip-up. But mainly I'm just impressed with the hair, the eyeshadow, the cassettes, Go 80's!

By the Way: There's an updation to my "Awesome Work Quote of the Week" thingy on my sidebar! Check it out!


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Actually, umm nope, no explanation

Hilarious-dorky-bear of a college friend Isaac and mine's conversation yesterday on gmail during one of my 5 minute breaks from the lab.........

Isaac: so wow the sideboob
Me: I know! I had to detagg myself, cause i have to keep it kosher for coworkers sake, but Im totlaly not ashamed
Isaac: you shouldnt be
Me: I'm not! My boobs are awesome
Isaac: wait, you're not Jewish
Me: But I would love to be, I love Jewish-ness
Isaac: you could convert
me: apparently its really hard to convert, plus jesus was pretty badass
Isaac: true, jesus ftw
me: oooh is this some cool new acronym that i am unaware of?
Isaac: for the win, its from hollywood squares, but its used online a bunch among the gamers as like a rallying cry etc, look it up on wikipedia
Me: hmmm will do, ps: you're a dork
Isaac: Here's a link, its used both genuinely and sarcastically, kinda like "oh snap"
me: oh sac, what would i do without you
Isaac: die of herpes? i dunno, build a car completely powered by peanuts?
me: probably the herpes, cause im pretty sure i couldnt build a car without a man
Isaac: lol
me: yep, i said it
Isaac: says the feminist
me: feminist claire, right, but its true, for me at least
Isaac: if anyone could figure out how to die from herpes it would be u, its pretty non-fatal isnt it, just really annoying? and lifelong
me: hahaha, yes, its just a chronic thing
Isaac: or a tragic hairdrier accident
Me: OH MAN my hairdryer, its melting, is a story in itself
Isaac: btw, seen batman yet?
Me: no i havent seen it yet, but im thinking about it....mainly just cause heath is in it, although I'm not a big comicbook reader/obsessor
Isaac: basically most amazingness ever, alex pooed himself watching it twice, cause basically the joker is alex's role model
Me: hahahaha, or maybe three times and you didnt notice
Isaac: quite possibly


Monday, July 21, 2008

What is with all the Crazy lately?

So people have been crazy lately, not anyone I'm close to, but the number and severity of my 'what the hell' reactions are up from last month. Sometimes they are hilarious and not dramatic, like this man on the bus this morning (a grown ass business-man around the age of 35) who was listening to britney spears 'toxic' over and over again on his ipod, probably not realizing that it was loud enough for the entire bus to hear. And short of singing along to the awesomely high electronic rift parts as Maris and I mused would make it even better, it pretty much made my day, and helped me and my chicago friend get through our manic mondays. On the other hand, literally, since its in my phone, I have the ridiculous reaction from my "boss" after I gave her my two weeks notice (my part time job). I have ethical reasons for leaving this job, not to mention their filthy house and last minute requests for help, as well as logistical reasons (its incredibly hard to fit with my other regular nine to five job) but mainly because I get messages such as these, in response to my incredibly professional voicemail. She decided to text, of course, which just reinforces her ridiculousness. Prepare yourself.

Word for word.....

"its kinda like add insult to injury i feel well i can't explain we r a family that relies/& trusts i guess when people say they will help i am stunned"


"sorry you feel that way when you called earlier you made a committment i would not call i did also have tons of hrs u r not"

Ummmm could you read that? YEAH I didn't think so. I AM NOT KIDDING YOU. I had to FIGHT the urge to edit that as I was writing it here, cause a little comma never hurt anyone! I am speechless. Can you fault me for quitting working for/with someone who obviously does not have the self control to calm herself down before she texts me? Let alone thinks texting is the way to go about discussing employment. Anyways. I thought you guys would apperciate those moments of crazy in my life lately. I hope they made you laugh. Cause after a stupid day like today was, (ie getting a papercut between my fingers being the LEAST of my stresses)..... I sure needed one as well. So keep reminding me of the britney moment.


Friday, July 18, 2008

Up and Down and Up Again

The past couple of weeks have been emotionally awful for several reasons and I basically almost gave in (insert mind bubble saying "wow, is this how its going to be?") but then thought WAIT a SECOND. Nope. Not gonna happen. So I "rested" for a few days, ie didnt run, just walked, didnt talk to many people, and ate what I wanted (within reason) and realized, that sometimes, that's all you really need. A damn good meal. And since I have been waiting untill today (payday) to go grocery shopping cause its so fucking expensive, I have been slowing realizing how not eating well REALLY affects me. Not just "oh I'm hungry" but things such as "why I am so depressed, this sucks, but I had toast and peanut butter I should be fine!". Silly and irrational I know, but word for word my thought process most evenings, as I wallowed and read my new psych book. So now that I'm back on track, with a run tonight, a hip hop show (which I'm kinda nervous for.... hey, just being honest)a "extra long run" planned for tomorrow, and Ali and my last trip to the yummiest breakfast place ever (Beaterville) before we both leave this lovely city for the next phase of our lives - I think I will be fine. Whew, longest sentence ever. And it reminds me of what my momma always tells me... 'you were such a happy baby'. And I am so grateful that that personality-temperment has lasted.

And just for shit's sake, and cause I'm worried about her right now (rightfully so, because she is staying with my sometimes crazy grandmother at the lake) I'm including this ridiculously awesome picture of my littler sister Maria. I call her Punky, short for another silly pet name. I think it suits her perfectly. :) ps: She's the one with the tongue.


Monday, July 14, 2008

I need to know!

Ok, so for several days I have numerous (weirdly unconnected) conversations about whether the correct term for what can also be called an "oxford shirt" is "button up" or "button down" shirt. I have always thought it was "button up" and constantly refer to that certain color blue of a button up shirt that men tend to wear, which can totally and completley drive me nuts. No. lie. Girls, I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about. Ok, so the conversation at work was prompted by the cute (possibly a firefighter) that was teaching a CPR class for our students. Umm, I would so be the first one with my hand up for volunteering. You can recuscitate me anytime :) Ok, I digress..... Furthering the confusion is that I have heard they are seperate terms used to refer to whether its a guy or a girl wearing said shirt. Some people also say "button down" refers to those that have buttons that secure the collar down. Oh the chaos! The upheaval! So many opinions! And I have yet to be satisfied with anyone's answer (regardless of the fact that its probably because it doens't match mine :) and so I ask you, all of my five readers, for your opinon. So tell me what you think!


Saturday, July 12, 2008

You heard it Here First, Edition 5

1. Kathryn Williams. Ok, so that's the name of a gradeschool friend of mine, so it brings back a lot of memories which are pretty surreal to be reminded of, but she's also a really good singer-writer-find that I recently came across during pandora time one afternoon at work. Apparently she's been around for awhile, but regardless, her songs are quiet storms. A slow, almost melancholy, jewel mixed with janis mixed with ingrid michaelson masterpeice. Enjoy "Fell down fast" (if you can find it!) and also Hollow, featured below.

2. Jason Mraz. How I love thee. There is on end to my love. He often comes across as simple or overly poppy. But there is something about his music that is constantly moving to me. And his live stuff is worlds different. But his latest, I'm Yours, is unmistakenly his style and perfect for the summer. And who is better to channel for this time of year than Jack Johnson!?

3. In the spirit of hippie-portland, as evident by the stompin good time that I passed by on my walk past the ho-down at the local food co-op the other day, here is a really awesome johny cash-blue grass-outback sounding guy with an great head of hair. Acoustic guitar at it's finest.

4. I will never forget when Liz Stuart, a sophmore on my floor freshmen year, came back from his concert and he had sign her jeans. I thought she was totally awesome and so very rock and roll groupie. It was silly and cool at the same time. She had come back from a Howie Day concert. Yeah, hence the silly. But no, for reals, he's kind of awesome. Kind of 90s pop pulled into the 2 thousand tens....(or whatever else you call this decade). And this particular song, called She Says, always pops up on my "work appropriate" radio stations on pandora. So it constantly stuck in my head. Go find it!

5. This is one falls under the "I don't remember how I found this" category, so it doesn't surprise me in the least that they're kind of weird. But weird in a good way. Good in that there's plenty of keyboard, some violin, a girl lead singer, they're from Australia, an 80s punk feel, and they seem to love converse. I'm down with ALL of that. My favorite one is "Get what you want" although this is a close second.

6. They use the EGG, they're british, and they dance like total nerds. Enough said.

7. And I cannooottt get this song out of my head. I have some of their stuff, so it comes up on shuffle sometimes, but once it in my head, it doesnt usually go away for about a week. And a little kind of makes me feel cultured. :) A group of people that get together to sing, dance, play..... seems like my kind of place. Mmmm makes me want a taco from Ole Ole.


Friday, July 11, 2008

What's on my Desk: courtesy of MomBrain

Author's Note: A wonderful lady, who I was lucky enough to have as a mentor, employer, and child-care teacher (who's son I miss dearly) through highschool and college, also happens to be a writer and all around interesting / funny / talented blogger. Her site is one of my many daily check ins, and has hilarious insights into her life as a mom and beyond. Recently, she let us into her desk-world, and inspired the following Blog Idea.

What's on My Desk:

1. Unscented lotion that I reapeatedly rub on my healing tattoo.

2. A three headed USB monster chord for my camera.

3. My Ipod that no longer lets me see its contents and simply is on repeat.

4. Various notes about account passwords, website code, and my shipping confirmation for this awesome (and cheap) book.

5. My makeup bag, which has become my constant companion during this week of ridiculously early mornings in the lab, and alarm "not gong offs". Translation = me setting it for pm accidently or unintentionally not hearing it.

6. A reminder to sit up straight and take deep breaths. It's all about self-care here in the nursing world.

7. A handful of lavender from my thoughtful and caring Dean.

8. A box of old office keys.

9. Today's coffee mug. Cup # 2.

10. A picture of all the lovely student worker ladies, neatly cropped to leave out all the things that are not appropriate for an office staff directory list, but blatantly displayed in downloadable (blackmail) facebook pictures.

11. A paper snowflake leftover from christmas.

12. The Code Martha Packet for workplace violence. Scary. Almost happened this morning.

13. A calendar displaying february.

14. 8 bajillion sticky note pads, in various colors other than pastel.

15. 2008 Women's Rules (Lacrosse) Ref Handbook.

Analyze that!


Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Truth, for the low price of two payments of 35 dollars!

The RAND Corporation and an Army group put together two reports on how the planning and execution of the war happeneing, what didn't work, what we were not prepared for, and all the details that are constantly speculated upon by the media, congress, and the American public. And instead of speculation, you can get the real facts. That first report, by the RAND Corporation (a federally financed center that conducts research for the military), is called "After Saddam: Prewar Planning and the Occupation of Iraq" and the second one, compiled by the Army Combined Arms Center is called "On Point II: Transition to the New Campaign". Its tangible and out there. So get educated. And know, democrat or republican, what you're talking about.


Monday, July 7, 2008

Vegas: Ridiculousity

A List (cause really, a coherent post with a beginning, middle, and end is rather impossibly to come up with about such a crazy weekend) of Vegas moments, thoughts, observations, and highlights.

Tricia likes to be nude. Most of the time. And has "perky little tits".

Speaking of boobs, sometimes its hard to keep them under wraps. Then we have moments when we don't even know if they're in or out and lauren says things like "whoa I thought my nipple was out, and then I realized no its just my baby soft skin!"

Vegas = lots and lots and lots of crazy people. More crazy than you've probably ever experienced. Usually drunk and crazy, but sometimes crazy on their own, without the additive that the sin-filled city contributes. And when crazy people get scary and mean, thats when you don't want them sitting next to you on the bus.

Sometimes its really hard for three people to figure out plans for the day, the evening, or even the night.

Drunk guys saying (with a slurred voice) 'you're gorgeoussss' on the elevator.....will never ever ever not make me laugh!

Casinos are dirty and smoky and just not glamorous. And if you don't know all the ins and outs of gambling and card games....its kinda intimidating at the same time. We stuck to the dollar slots and did just fine thank you!

Getting a tattoo hurts like a bitch, and don't try to tell me otherwise.

After three nights, I was soooo ready to go home to smoke free Portland.

Whenever possile, make up code names to be able to judge (verbally and openly) all the drunk crazies around you. It's fun, harmless, and every once in awhile you will even include yourself in the game. All's fair in Vegas. See another recap of our vegas times on Lauren's blog featuring the decoder.

I. Hate. Flying. It will never be fun. I will always feel gross, slightly nauseaus, dry mouth, and out of sorts before, during, and afterwards. Regardless of how much dramamine I take or ginger ale and pretzels I eat. And that fucking sucks, cause I love traveling.

The power of thank you is even more effective when you're so obviously drunk, tourist-ing, or lost; or any combination of the aforementioned unfortunate situations. That and some classy cleavage, cause God knows I wouldnt have gotten such a strong 32 oz gin and tonic without both of those.


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Since everyone and their MOTHER is getting married lately.....

Something Old

Something New

I don't know if this is true or not....but its freaking awesome

Something Borrowed

If you haven't heard of, then I am sad for you. Go check it out.

Something Blue

as an equal portand-er and beer-snob i was saddened by this exchange.....and don't even get my started on how I feel about applebees.....

Woman: Oh, where was that place we had that really good beer? I forgot where that was... Do you remember...?
Guy: Wasn't it Applebee's or something?