Much more than a movie review

If you know me at all, you know I'm flat out obsessive with certain parts of life, particularly music. I can't help it, I'm sure its silly but I don't really care. Born into a musical family and surrounded by magical tunes my entire childhood, I am constantly aware of my special connection to it. I am always the one singing along to the barely audible song in a bar or restaurant, and insisting that people strain to hear it because "its a great song!". Another tag-teaming obsession along with music is any movie having to do with or featuring excellent music. The second I discovered this movie, after it being mentioned by my roomate and hearing a song from its soundtrack on the radio, I KNEW I was hooked. Its titled ONCE. A small budget film about two musicians who meet on the streets of Dublin and combine their purely magical talents into a Demo CD. It's part real life (since they actually did make an album together in real life) and part screenwriting. It sounds simple but is most definitely not. It chronicles their connection, however complicated by life, and does not have a mushy ending. Its real life cinematography and part-musical quality will leave you forgeting you're even watching a movie. We saw it at the Kennedy School and I highly recommend the 3 dollar tickets and comfy couches of that venue. Please join me in the obsession!

You can kiss my clover

While baking, HA yes I said baking, Corn muffins from a mix people! (for office xmas presents - oh the wonders of GREAT wrapping), I popped in St. James Gate. A local Irish folk band that has accompanied many many nights of revelry throughout college at Kel's downtown and whose CD Alex had snatched one night. And during my imitations of Kari's irish jigs and following the kindergarten directions on the box, a song came on that I was immediately fond of, but did not recognize. As I listened further, I realized why I must have paused at its tune. It's a lovely lovely folk song about the experience of Imigration by the Irish people, and its titled "Long way from Clare to Here". As most folk songs out there, its origins are not particularly clear but apparently it has been performed by many artists, namely Ralph McTell. SO my evening has managed to feel quite precious, despite the fact that the song was so obviously not written for me. I'm going to let it remind me of the musical memories in my life. St. James Gate makes me wish for a Kel's night. My "snakebite with Hef please". Drunk dancing. Table slapping during Whiskey in the Jar. Flirting with old men. "Go request Feilds of Athenry...no you do it, ok fine I'll be right back!" And perhaps a Voodoo Donuts Run at 1:30. Heaven. A million times over.

I would put a youtube video of the song, but none are performed with the clear sweet sound of St. James Gate.

ps: I ate my oatmeal (yes I had it for dinner, I love it ok!) with a fork. Without realizing.

The Pledge of Resistance

Slam poetry Artist. Writer. Musician. Activist. It's not suprising that the FBI has a file on him. Unfortunately that is our reality. But not in my name.

New Favorite Band: Bishop Allen

After a short lived obsession with a few select amazing songs (among others) on a mix CD, another short lived situation ended with the someone that courted me with said CD :) So, I put those songs away, despite their glowing distinction. I have reclaimed that mix. It. Is. Amazing. And very few are flashback inducing.

Here are a few of the artists, and their songs. I guess you could sort of say they fall into the 'alternative' category, but what exactly do those labels mean? No one really knows. I just like the songs. Enjoy.

Bishop Allen - Flight 180 and Click Click Click..... hint: make sure to listen to entire song, they're like crescendos, they get more amazing as they go along. Plus the click click video is pretty sweet and youtube artsy :)

Band of Horses - The Funeral - pretty kick ass and breathtaking

Menomena - (holla! portland band) - Wet and Rusting - a little weird, give it a chance, also worth a full listen

Arcade Fire - Wake Up, AntiChrist Television Blues, and RebellionLies. They are grreeeattt.

*and in a whole other category there's Talib Kweli, another inspiration right now, mainly his older stuff. See Black Star with Mos Def.

How come I didn't know about this untill now?!

For all Women. And for all who struggle for the equal treatment by and participation within American and the Global society. I recently heard about this movement, and its not well known ordaination of Women Preists. Regardless of what you think of religion or the Catholic Church or gender, this movement does nothing but inspire. A huge swell of pride comes into my heart when I see this. FUCK YEAH.

Roman Catholic Women Preists

I am going to mass soon with one of these preists presiding. I can't wait. Company is welcome.

this THING keeps happening

I know. Practically 3 posts in one day. But its just spewing out. I'm rivaling Lauren on the Word Vomit score card.

Ok, so it's going to sound silly and a little bit twilight zony, (or that other show, quoted on GG, according to Luke its underrated, I digress) but I have this THING. This weird THING that happens. And it happens ALOT. Where something, anything really... songs, references, historical people, real people, dreams......etc will just POP into my life TWICE within a short period of time. Sometimes in the same day, or within a couple days. And never just repopping up in my brain. From somewhere ELSE. I will hear an obscure song twice in one day, on different stations or shows or commercials. Or someone will bring up this random holiday memory, and then I'll come across the pictures of it two days later. Or I will hear about some person, usually not anyone notable that I would think of myself, but someone, and then later that day I'll SEE them. Like the other day, after enjoying some James Taylor xmas music at the party on sunday, I youtubed some of his stuff, and found a duet with the Dixie Chicks of his song Sweet Baby James, (amazing by the way check it out) and THEN, just now, I come across that exact song on my friends myspace page (who never changes their song!). JUST LIKE THAT. No rhyme or reason, (well not in reference to the song or James, kudos to his rhyming and rhythm ability), but of this THING that happens to me. It's consistent. And freaky. But I think freaky in a cool way, like in Grease when all of sudden there are angels and a old man flirting with a pink haired Frenchie and you're thinking....freaky....but kind of catchy and fun! Anyways. This THING is a pattern. And I kind of like it. Especially because I believe in weird magical stuff like that, but also because it suprises me, and I really really like suprises. Especially consistent ones. I'm hoping these two-for-ones of mysterious references keep happening, and that the topics get better. Like breaking out in Grease songs for example, twice in one week, wouldnt that be awesome.

A solution is the solution

I. bite. my. nails. REALLY badly. It's ridiculous actually. On top of the fact that I have silly square nails that arent oval and pretty like every other woman in my life, but I have to make it worse by biting them incessantly. I am constantly embarassed when I want to make a nail appointment with my girls. Plus it just looks scrappy. Like I'm still 13 and climbing trees. So recently, since its majorly flu/scold season, I have been using the 'permacare', the hand sanitizer in the patient rooms in the lab, as often as the student nurses. And today, there was a huge AHA moment, and I am extremely appreciative even though it was accompanied by a really really bad taste in my mouth. The permacre, despite being effective, makes your hands smell and TASTE like shit. So my nail biting days are OVER after a really bad moment of realizing the acidy shit that I was putting in my mouth. Pavlov was a genius, and this was all figured out without having to re-read the Berenstain Bears. Wooooo.

The Spirit

I am thankful for:

Spirit. It's definiton is, to me, the most vague notion created by humans, yet uniquely unversal. Literally, it comes fromm the latin word meaning 'breath', but it's used in a wide variety of settings, from religious to 'energy' healers to the absolute spirit of our planet and its species. And this weekend was a compilation of these, happily and without tension. The unique family like spirit that can be created by a group of people who are in the health care field. Despite its corruption, the field is filled with people who really do care about helping people. And educating the future of their passion is even more inspiring. And entertaining to boot! Not only will they beat the coveted white elephant gift out of your hands, they throw a mean potluck, and are not afraid to tamely haze their newcomers at the department christmas party (aka me). Thank you baby jesus I have a half way decent voice.

My friends. Unique in the energy they bring to my life, they never cease to entertain and motivate me. Even if it is simple motivating me to find the BEST pair of shoes (specifically Michael Antonio weathered gold pumps) at Buffalo Exchange for my money, which was actually theirs, seeing as they were dumb enough to buy some of my old clothes from me (score!).

Jesse Malin. Check-out-able for reals.

Vintage/Retro/Consignment Store heaven. Imaging my mother wearing the same coat I am trying on, and the inevitable class that we did and do exude, is even more reason to be thankful for that intangible yet luckily and clearly inherited gene: KICK ASS CLASS. thank you mommy.

Stumptown coffee. Enough said.

Long 'walk and talks' with Ali Brown, with our conversation falling upon everyone within a one block radious because of our giant mouths and volume levels. But let's be real, you're jealous and you know it.

There is much more I could divulge in this sappy nostalgic way, but I won't bore you. Enjoy the morsels. As I did at the potluck last night. Egad. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yes! Complete appreciation for the waist hiding marvelousness of the jersey slinky top/dress revolution.

This moment's christmas list........

Pathetic Pleads to inanimate objects and/or Female PopRock Kickass-ers

1. Dear bags under my eyes - please go away!

2. Dear golf ball in throat - follow the bags!

3. Dear Santa - send money!

4. Dear Sara Bareilles - please come to portland so Ali and I can SEE you play!

Newly discovered crazy gene: specific to tall women

Maria (sister): there was this girl, in pottery class, she had everything in this giant pill bag! Like oxycontin, that addict stuff, and heartburn, and organic calcium, oh please! and that pink stuff, whats that called!? ooooh that song, heartburn indigestion, diarhea, upset stomach.....

Me: Peptobismal, maria, its peptobismal

Maria: oh YEAH. a giant bottle of that. Who has all that stuff!? in POTTERY?

Me: I don't know.

Maria: I'm going to go youtube that song and send you the link!

Me: awesome, I appreciate that.

Me: Hey Caitlin? you there?

Caitlin (older sister) : yeah, sorry, I took my sleeping pill, I'm getting tired

Me: oh ok, yeah I can let you go then

Caitlin: yeah, my clothes are talking to me....

Me: your WHAT? Well, what are they saying?

Caitlin: oh just drowsy things...

Me: oh ok then. well goodnight.

Caitlin: goodnight.

Vote or Die

Ive been so inspired by the outpouring of voting in Venezuela, that resulted in a 51 to 49 refusal of some pretty major proposed constitutional changes in Venezuela (which were not very democratic just fyi), that I just wanted to put this out there. Some info on the presidential candidates so far. Polling results as follows:

Republicans

Giuliani 25 (-3 vs. 11/11-14 poll)
Huckabee 16 (+6)
Thompson 15 (-4)
McCain 15 (+2)
Romney 12 (nc)
Paul 4 (-1)

Giuliani holds a 13-point lead in the RCP Average.

Democrats
Clinton 39 (-9 vs. 11/11-14 poll)
Obama 24 (+3)
Edwards 15 (+3)
Richardson 4 (+3)

Clinton's lead in the RCP Average is 18.3 points.


So get online or listen to the radio. Get your thoughts together, go to their websites, search your souls, your tax forms, whatever drives you and VOTE. Our efforts could bring about something similar to the Venezuelans. Oh, wait, did I just compare the Bush to a dictator. Oh, no she didn't! Yes, actually OH yes I did.

Materialism and Me

This weekend was full and a little chaotic. Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes not. But overall, it added some much needed cheesy holiday cheer (complete with peppermint schnapps and fuzzy slipper time with Sarah), as well as some retail therapy that I was able to justify because of the Holidays. And you can never underestimate the power of filling your fridge with a plethora of leftovers from all the "I've been wanting to try this place" eateries around this sopping wet city. I'm going to be the Queen Bee of the lunchroom at work this week, no doubt about it. Take that you nutri-system eating jealous wannabes!

As always, Ali Brown and I planned an all day extravaganza (which is by by far my new favorite word!) that included, as usual, some true blue stumptown coffee, shopping, food, mix cds, political discussions, and a good cry thanks to a Liberal documentary. And in order to fully understand the day, I will just leave you with the following breif glances into the two person streaming ridiculous but 'awe inspiring to some' commentary that goes on between Ali Brown and myself....

First it was to Lloyd for some "We got this on sale at old navy and gap but it doesnt look like we did" winter apparel

Me: are you sure about this...... its very 70's....
Ali: absolutely, you look like carly simon or carole king
Me: the closest I'm ever going to get to living in that decade, I'll take it!

Ali: It's like Claire in bag form :)

After scoring some major loot at an adorable tshirt design store, manned by equaly adorable boys, there was an immediate necessary conversation to be had once we had hooded ourselves to deal with the feisty rain and wind outside the shop

Me: Omigosh it smelled like BOY in there, and not in a good way, in a "I dont wear anti-perspirant" boy way......
Ali: like in my 7th grade classroom this week, stop spraying that stupid bath and body works country apple spray and put some damn deodorant on your damn pits!

and the best comment (admittedly for selfish reasons) of the day was in the Gap dressing room

Me: are you sure about this....
Ali: um YEAH, look at your arm, THAT'S skinny

And after the most MSG filled dinner of my entire Portland life (all hail the glory of the newly-discovered Safeway chinese food) I found the best fortune.

"You lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you"

Well said Mr. Fortune Cookie. Well said.

stone ages you say?

Today, I'm having a hard time today figuring out what century we are actually living in. Several pretty much INSANE things are going on right now and I'm beginning to truly wonder.

NYTimes Reads: The British teacher in Sudan who let her 7-year-old pupils name a class teddy bear Muhammad was found guilty on Thursday of insulting Islam and sentenced to 15 days in jail and deportation.

You. have. got. to. be. kidding. me! It's like punishing someone, in a predominantly hispanic country (ie many countries and regions of the world) for naming their child Jesus. See.....YEAH. There really isn't much to be said.

AND

NYTimes Reads: A man claiming to have a bomb strapped to his chest walked in to Hillary Rodham Clinton’s campaign offices in Rochester, N.H., today and took hostages, police and witnesses said.

Ok, let's see, wake up - check, eat breakfast - check, duck tape the bomb under my reebok jacket - check, walk into the campaign office of the only woman brave enough to run for president - check. I cannot WAIT to hear his explanation for this to do list. That's if they don't shoot him by the end of today.

Too bad there arent any writers to provide us the necessary knee slapping commentary on the Daily Show or Colbert Report of these hapenings. Damn you Writers Strike.

This posting remains nameless due to lack of creativity

There really isnt a better youtube video out there right now than the one I just happened upon. Especially considering the baffoon circus that was the latest republican debate sponsored by CNN and youtube (although major kudos to whoever married those two). And in my search for clips to confirm their overt ridiculousness (of which I won't rant on about seeing as I thoroughly exhausted my expletives throughout Safeway with Ali), I came upon this video. There are so many thought-worthy issues discussed in just under 5 minutes of its length, that I will let it poke at your mind and your college experience as it will. Enjoy.

And can we please have a moment of silence to commemorate the massive invasion of local grocery store produce sections by giant boxes of satsumas. They are everywhere, my version of a safe and bipartisan supported surge really, and I couldn't be happier. Christmas is finally here!

Things to remember about Thanksgiving Weekend ’07

Being without internet for a full 5 days has been hard enough, but harder has been the task of compiling the weekend of ups and down into one coherent blog. This task reminded me that I am a strong believer in thoughtful lists. It can be exactly as complicated and unconnected as the subject matter, and it helps me to compile all my moments into one picture. So here goes. In no particular order.

Getting free, yes FREE manicures with Kathleen. Thanks to a pile of unused gift certificates from Christmas’ past. And singing the Shane Company commercial BY HEART in the car, with no provocation. Totally spontaneous while reminiscing about junior high and radio stations. J And I’m going to take a moment to commemorate how awesome kathleen’s hugs are.

Seeing Maria completely live my 13 year old existence. such as…..
Me: what are you girls up to?
Maria and Sarah: we’re going to curl our hair and put on fun outfits and walk to 15th and rent movies. wooohooo.

Going to a blues traveler concert with BOTH of my parents. (who are divorced just fyi) and being completely comforted to see them both dancing in their silly hippie way with the one thing they still have in common. me. and jam bands.

Me and maria’s complete inability to keep our big mouths shut. Which results in no Christmas present mystery whatsoever. but we like it better that way. Deal with it.

Being able to simultaneously enjoy and make fun of the newly dubbed ‘tradition’ of thanksgiving at the country club. Tradition my ass. But really, let’s not get into my ass and the inches it gained this weekend!

How comfortable I feel on Seattle buses. How I have missed your sleep inducing, high backed seats of bliss. Your Portland competition is hard and cold and does not even come close to your glory.

Driving along Lake Washington Boulevard on a surprisingly clear and bright day, and being left completely breathless by the beauty of Seattle. Lakes and mountains and floating bridges.

Cuddling with Maria. All 6 feet of her. And realizing once again, that the way her hair smells will never change. Neither will the feeling that she is still 3 and drooling.

The laughter and screeching of the Jesse women, as our father catches major AIR going down the rollercoaster streets of Seattle. Done knowing that we would have that exact response. Sometimes it’s like we were never apart. But one of the constant disparaging remarks from my mother, when he is out of ear range, reminds me that that was a long time ago.

The smell of St. Joseph’s church on Sunday mornings. And Jesuit mass. There aren’t really any words that can explain the unique experience of Jesuit culture. But it is for certain the only thing that can truly remind me that I’m catholic at heart.

How easily my grandmother can make me cry. And realizing that this Africa experience I am embarking on in fall 08 will most likely not be accepted by them for many years to come. And how sad I am that we cannot come together over something so clearly good and exciting.

My mother, despite ridiculous abounding, is amazingly funny and beautiful.

Making eyes with the pizza man at the corner bistro café, having it awesomely end with a look and smile from the most beautiful eyes ever, and the cutest wave I have ever seen. If only I lived in Seattle. It was PURE MAGIC I tell you! as lauren as I figure.... an honest exchange of sexual pheromones. wooot.

She Rah

I am sitting here, with silly flushed cheeks from my ONE beer with caitlin at dinner (I'm pathetic I realize thank you), and listening to voicemail from my many suitors (aka my friends who are wondering if I'm coming to House tuesday nights and if I can call them back and talk about their grown up turkey sitting in their fridges- all of which makes me smile immensely) and I'm beginning to realize how surrounded I am by women. Ok, not to say I've been unaware of my women filled family or the 'holynames'-ness of my every thought and habit, but its a process. And despite my 'alone forever' recent realizations, I am incredibly comforted by the sense of cliche belonging. Having someone immediately understand the immensely overwhelming stress of having mothers and sisters come into town, with one long sigh or sarcastic laugh. Just like that. Or the sweaty adventure that is traveling, complete with throwing out all our expensive hair products to go through security. Or the constant worrying. That goes without saying. And most importantly, the guilty pleasures of dressing up. It's one of those moments where the 'us' is so clear. I could get all sociological about it, and as much as I would love to, I'll try to conclude my tangent. It's like when the music is playing and a loud interruption distracts you, a phone ringing or a crunchy crouton, and you end up still singing right along with the music when you can hear it again. Despite these crunchy croutons, like thousands of miles and busy work weeks and family shit, I still come out at the end with a gaggle of women that are there, in the most immediate tangible way. And it's always best when you can raid their closet (and music collection) and find some keepers :)

And I cannot stress the importance of our LACK of smelll or scratching.

Forever and Ever Amen

Dating? What's that?

I can do this. I've dated. At least thats what I'm going to continue to tell myself. But in reality, I have NO IDEA how to do this. No idea at all. What do you talk about? What do you say? How long do you hold their eye contact, and I know I will forget to sit up straight. Throughout college I basically dated one person, and those dates were easy, and quite a bit of time ago. College romance was so not the real world. Fun and exciting, and my "hide your boyfriend after intervisitation" skills were well developed, but not exactly the real dating world. And since, there have been a couple half hearted attempts, none of which I was actually wishing to go anywhere. And those were real people, that I knew. This is not. This is completely blind. And if you know me, you know that I have great intuition and I hate not knowing what's going on, how to read things, or any sort of confusion. And as much fun as it is to analyze, I really don't want to have to. I am an anxious fool and it tends to affect my stomach like no one's business, so as much as I appreciate the 5 pounds or so that I lose during times of sweaty hands and over-talking, I would much rather not have to deal with it. But that could be me just being scared. And I will never learn how to do this if I don't get out there and do it. So here I go. Palpitations and all.

Hey, where are the enema kits I ordered?

Throw me off the boat week is in full swing. I'm not complaining, because it has been entertaining and has flown by, but seriously people, give me some consistency! The early morning start on monday was balanced with some thank you flowers in my new cube. The way to a girl's heart....let's be real. And the new cube with lots of push-pin-able ready for pictures walls isnt too shabby either. Who wants to bet on how long it takes me to remember to bring pictures in? If it wasn't self defeating and not even possible to bet against myself, I would put 5 bucks on two weeks. Then the dry-mouth inducing talking marathon training day began. But the new lady is super super sweet, organized, and laughs with me (not to mention at me). All perks. Tuesday was a whole new ballgame. And by ballgame I mean the Lab. Not only do I get to sleep in on tuesdays and come in at 11, which provides plenty of time for walks and the oh so needed stumptown coffee transfusion with Ali, I also stay untill 7 and spend the entire day in the lab with things like this. Kind of creepy, but kind of really freaking kick ass. Have you ever seen a black penis on a white woman? Yeah neither had I, untill yesterday. Who knew interchangeable plastic parts could be so entertaining past the age of 9? And I constantly fight the need to go home, call my mom, and say "I touched its butt!" like I'm still that age. But try moving one of those on your own, because its arm decides to leak IV fluids, and it turns out the best place to grab. :) The rest of the week (which started today with a rocky alarm sleep through that resulted in one hour less of pay) turns into a mish mash of Jason projects (undergraduate counselor), mini claire projects, and more lab hours on fridays. But it's nice to feel a part of a team, and I end of walking around more, which my waistline will thank me for later. Plus free staff tickets to Little Women this weekend!? Its' like crack for educated feminist-leaning women. Cheers to a grown up job!

a standard of seld-doubt

And this was just too good to pass up...... As a vehement proponent of freedom of speech and intelligent political though, it saddens me that we are so lacking and seemingly frivolous with our knowledge of current events and history, yet I applaud those who take a serious look at our shortcomings, even more so with a humorous perspective. Regardless of how stupid it makes us as Americans seem. I promise you we are not all like this. Just ask me and Ali, or our ongoing facebook political or nytimes link conversations. Enjoy THIS. Cause I know I did.

At Ease

After going through the typical post college withdrawal, I am thankfully at a point where I feel at ease with the change. I always thought, especially throughout these past few months of transition, that I would always feel this lack, untill I started another phase of my life. That I was waiting for something to start, or something to ifnite a new phase, or even possibly for someone to come into my life. That the feeling of limbo would remain, over my shoulder, watching me run after the times and feelings I was lucky enough to experience during my time at the University of Portland. But it really is a blessing to realize that despite the doubts that I had, that I still have quite the portland family. A birthday celebration last night (not to mention recent reconnections and consistent sushi and spend-overs) was and is a testament to our persistence as a group of people, and sometimes even more so of a fragmented group that, despite our flaws, really does work. My life here in portland is luckily full of dynamic people. Some that truly understand my ridiculous passion for feminism or politics, a few that understand the importance of a good happy hour find, some that just want to dance with me, and some that can laugh and even encourage my stupid affection for the character that John Cusack plays in every movie he's in. And for that, those simple and incomplete understandings, I am eternally grateful.
-me

A New Start

Here I am. An official blogger. Although I'm pretty sure I'll never be very official about it. There is more to come. Post College. Pre-Africa.